


you’re the only you i need

by orphan_account



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cozy, Friendship, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Innocence, Light Angst, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Soft !, friends getting together, hangout, no beta we die like men, reassurance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22749643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Wait, Seb, are yousurethis is your account?”And then, at that moment, Seb’s heart drops.“I—““Is that—wait,Chicken Runis on Netflix? AndCoraline!”Seb’s face is flushed red, and he’s never been more grateful for the darkness to be as intense as it is. “I—I have to watch with my siblings down here sometimes,” he explains, praying to God that everyone believes him.They do. It’s an amazingly believable lie.(or, seb watches cartoons and prays to god nobody else finds out)
Relationships: Seb Matthew-Smith/Carlos Rodriguez
Comments: 12
Kudos: 64





	you’re the only you i need

**Author's Note:**

> i just want seb to be the kind of person who secretly watches nothing but cartoons and animated films in his free time is that so much to ask !!
> 
> this is an outtake that i didn’t like enough to have part of my actual innocent!seb story but couldn’t get the idea out of my mind regardless cause i like the Soft Energy. i wrote this in like two hours lol 
> 
> (^^loosely based on that one insta story with joe and larry where joe says seb is “innocent and doesn’t ever know what’s going on”)

“Get together tonight at Ashlyn’s house! Everyone’s invited!” 

Ashlyn groans. She’s not exactly thrilled with the idea of being the go-to party-host every time the unabridged group of theatre kids want to have a get-together, so she quickly yells over Carlos, “No! No party at mine!” 

Carlos looks over to her, a startled look clear on his face. “What do you mean, no party at mine? Ashlyn, you’re always our place!” 

Looking around the room at all of the expectant faces, Ashlyn nearly caves. She doesn’t love having to clean everything up after a typical theatre-kid party, because dear God, they can get wild—even without alcohol—and she isn’t very enthused with the idea that her parents may actually be coming home sometime soon—which is shocking in and of itself. Had the latter reason not been a factor, maybe she wouldn’t have spoken up—maybe she would’ve just left the situation alone and grumbled into her steering wheel the moment she got into her car to drive home to her own house, because she doesn’t want everyone over at hers tonight, just to avoid any and all chaos. And this, too—the dumbfounded looks on everyone’s faces, because _we always go to Ashlyn’s!_

Not today, she thinks. Today, it’s someone else’s turn for a change. 

“My parents might actually be coming home within the next couple of days,” she says, and then looks back once again to Carlos. “Or else I would, I promise.” 

Carlos shakes his head—it’s not worth it to beg Ashlyn, he figures. Someone else in this enormous group of rich-kid theatre geeks ought to have a place to gather everyone for a night, right? “Is anyone else able to host tonight?” 

Murmurs erupt from the crowd of people, and the charged buzz emitting from the group indicates—albeit rather elusively, as if you wouldn’t be able to hear it if you weren’t listening—that there’s nobody in here able to host. Carlos’s shoulders slump forward as he’s met with nobody speaking up. He was a really looking forward to getting together with his friends tonight—

“I—probably can?” 

A collective gasp followed by a burst of laughter emerges from the kids, and everyone looks in the direction of the voice. It’s Seb.

“I mean, I’m sure it’s okay as long as we’re all pretty quiet. I have a really big house on the farm that holds a bunch of people. It’s not a party, right? I’m sure my family won’t mind too much—it’s just, like, the farm is pretty far away, so if anyone needs directions—“ 

Carlos wraps his arms around Seb’s shoulders, bringing him in for a tight hug of gratitude. “Change of plans—get together at Seb’s tonight! Address will be out shortly!” 

And yet again, a blanket of excitement has fallen over the crowd. Tonight was going to be _awesome_.  
—  
As it turns out, only fourteen people out of the main cast are able to make it to Seb’s house for the Thursday-night-get-together-slash-party-hybrid, but he doesn’t mind at all—he doesn’t really know if his parents are even going to be okay with such a number as it is, so he’s secretly pretty thankful for the small turnout. Plus, that means less cleanup and a more intimate night, both of which are things that Seb definitely doesn’t mind. 

The final person arrives just after seven o’clock—after having gotten lost finding Seb’s farm—but by eight thirty, there’s only about ten people left standing. Seb and his boyfriend, along with the rest of the couples splayed out across Seb’s couches in the darkened basement. 

The friends have been laughing and chatting together, eating various bits and pieces of junk food that Seb has had in his pantry upstairs for God-knows-how-long, sharing personal anecdotes and stories and bonding together, as a cast opening in just a couple weeks time should. 

Once the group has sufficiently run out of new things to talk about, there’s a significant lull in the conversation, and Seb feels like he should maybe see when everyone wants to get going, until someone shouts, “Seb, do you have a Netflix?” 

A smile grows on his face. Watching Netflix with a huge group of people in your basement, with everyone cuddled and piled on top of each other as if personal space had never been considered? 

Hell yes. 

“I do,” he says quickly, tapping someone—he can’t really see, it’s really dark in here—on the shoulder, asking if they can pass him the remote sitting on the side table. People are throwing out suggestions left and right as Seb gets ahold of the controller, booting the television up and waiting for it to load the program. 

“The signal is kind of bad down here sometimes, so it might end up taking a few minutes,” Seb informs the group as Netflix sits idly on the title screen. The group quickly assured him that it’s alright, and that they can all wait.

The group, as per usual, manages to find another topic to talk about until the streaming service finally manages to load, which emits a few excited cheers from the group. 

“Guys, can we watch a musical? I feel like it’s only fitting—“

“No, no way, can we watch a horror?”

“I hate horror movies—“

“Well, that—“

“Wait, Seb, are you _sure_ this is your account?” 

And then, at that moment, Seb’s heart drops. 

“I—“

“Is that—wait, _Chicken Run_ is on Netflix? And _Coraline_!”

“The better question is if Seb’s actually watched them...?”

“Aw, Seb!” 

Seb’s face is flushed red, and he’s never been more grateful for the darkness to be as intense as it is. “I—I have to watch with my siblings down here sometimes,” he explains, praying to God that everyone believes him.

They do. It’s an amazingly believable lie. 

The group eventually decides on a film to watch together— _High School Musical_ , of course—and they completely leave the conversation about the cartoons alone. 

Not really like it’s a terrible thing, of course, but Seb’s already seen as the kid of the friend group; the childish, innocent one. Being outed as an avid teenage-cartoon-watcher isn’t exactly something that would help his case. 

Still, though, the guilt of the lie gnaws on him throughout the movie, and he’s distracted throughout nearly the entire film, until he taps Carlos—who’s nestled right beside Seb and Nini, though is leaning particularly on Seb, as per usual—on the shoulder, which seems to startle him a bit. “Sorry,” he whispers, nearly dead-silently. 

“Are you okay?” Carlos lifts his head from the crook in Seb’s neck—where he was very comfortably sitting, thank you very much—and looks over at his boyfriend, illuminated only by the colourful images passing across the screen in front of them. 

“I’m okay,” says Seb quickly, keeping his voice hushed as he can. “I just, like—feel bad?” 

Carlos is now fully immersed in what Seb’s saying, and none of his attention is being pulled towards the screen. Thank Goodness none of the rest of their friends are paying attention to him, or else it’d be a _crystal-clear_ cause for concern as to why Carlos isn’t paying attention to the film. 

“What’s wrong, Seb?” 

“I hardly ever watch stuff down here with my siblings,” he says after a moment, and grabs Carlos’s hand in his after a moment of searching for it. He feels kind of weird. 

“Okay—?”

“I—I lied, earlier, about it.” Seb says, and he can feel Carlos shifting his weight closer into Seb’s body. Carlos is rubbing his thumb across the top of his hand in support, even if he’s confused as hell right about now. 

“I still don’t really know what you’re getting at,” he says finally, giving Seb a small chuckle. “Like, the Coraline and stuff?”

Seb nods, bringing his other hand up to motion for him to keep his voice down. Carlos mouths a quick apology. 

“I don’t want to be that person,” says Seb, frowning slightly. “I mean, I’m—like—I’m the kid of the group. The _innocent_ one. The one who never seems to understand anything worse than PG? I—sorry. It just bothered me. I feel better now that I’ve told someone.” 

Carlos looks around the room for a moment before standing up, his hand—still clasped with Seb’s—bringing his boyfriend up, too. “Back in a second,” he says quickly, but nobody really seems to care beyond quiet hums of affirmation. Carlos pulls Seb, by the hand, out of the main den and into a spare bedroom to talk to him. Clearly it bothered him more than he was letting off earlier. 

Carlos shuts the door behind the two of them, turning the light on. They both groan at the sudden influx of light, then collapse into each other as they burst into quiet giggles. 

“I didn’t really want to try and have a whole conversation and distract everybody,” Carlos says, leading Seb over to sit together on the spare bed. He notices it’s a nice little bedroom, with a definitive…farm aura. It checks out, he supposes, considering the rest of the house and outside. His family certainly is a farming one. 

“That’s fair,” Seb says, nodding. “I—I just feel _weird_. Like, I only really watch cartoons and animated stuff, because—I don’t know, it’s easy to watch, I guess? I really don’t know.” 

Carlos gently sighs. He doesn’t really know how to explain this. “Seb, I—and the rest of the group, I’m sure—literally _don’t_ care what you decide to watch in your free time. Where exactly is this coming from?”

“Okay, hear me out—I’m the one in the group who, like, has no idea of anything—ever. I’m the innocent one. The _kid_. I’m, like, the dumb blonde of the group—and it certainly doesn’t help that I’m the _only_ blonde one out of everyone, too. I don’t want everyone knowing I watch a bunch of kids shows. It’s—I don't know. _Weird_.” 

Carlos looks over at Seb, a bewildered look on his face. “You don’t—you don’t _really_ think that about yourself, do you?” 

Seb can’t help but shrug. “Kind of, yeah.” 

“I don’t think that could be any further from the truth if you tried.” 

“Is it, though? I mean, sometimes I sort of just say whatever comes to mind and then I get a kind of…a silent response from everybody. Sometimes, someone’s jokes will fly over my head and I just have to laugh along, ‘cause I don’t really understand what they’re talking about. I feel like, sometimes, having grown up here, in such a different environment than everyone else, makes me stand out—and, like, not in a good way. I’m too innocent. All of me and my siblings are kind of the same. We’re not ingrained into society enough or something. We’re farm kids in a city kid world.” 

Carlos shifts his body closer to Seb’s. He had no idea this had been inside of Seb’s head.

He couldn’t believe he thought that maybe the most endearing qualities Carlos sees in him are the ones he seems to dislike the most, too. It breaks Carlos’s heart.

“Seb,” he says, grabbing both of his boyfriend’s hands between his own. “I think you’ve just managed to describe all of the parts about you that I love the most.”

Seb scoffs, and he’s about to take away his hands, until Carlos only decides to hold onto them tighter. 

“I think you add a dynamic to the group that nobody else really can. You’re like—you’re like a little ray of sunshine or something,” Carlos says, and then laughs quietly at himself, looking up at Seb. Seb’s only looking back at him, his blue eyes wide and his eyebrows high on his face. Clearly he didn’t believe him—not yet. “Don’t look at me like that, my love—I mean it! Nobody else in the group can even hold a candle to the positivity and happiness that you always bring to us. It’s really special—your innocence, too. _Especially_ that, actually. I don’t know how you’ve held onto the optimism that you do as a kid for so long, but I…I don’t know. I hope you keep it forever, because most people lose it way too early in life. You hear me?” 

Seb blinks at Carlos, slowly. There’s no way Carlos actually feels this way, is there? These are parts of Seb that he’d maybe do anything to get rid of to fit in better. Why does Carlos seem so enamoured by them? 

“I mean—I _hear_ you, yeah.” 

“You’ve got to believe me, Seb,” Carlos pleads, resting a hand on his boyfriend’s knee. He leans into the younger boy, resting his forehead on Seb’s. “I…I love you. Like, _really_ love you. I love all of you. Especially the parts that make you unique, the parts that you—for whatever awful reason—don’t seem to like. They make you _you_ —like, the you that I’m _in love_ with. You don’t deserve to feel badly about yourself for having these beautifully special qualities. Some people would kill for the personality and outlook you have, okay?” 

Seb’s shoulders fall, but not like the way they usually do when someone gets discouraged and wants to give up. They fall in surrender. He sticks out his bottom lip and furrows his eyebrows together as he stares at Carlos. He says nothing.

“And—y’know, for the record, I always laugh at your comments, no matter what anybody else does. And I think your cartoons are really, really cute, too. I watch cartoons sometimes. I think everyone does. It’s definitely not just you.” 

“I love you, too,” is all he can manage to say, resting a hand on top of Carlos’s, sitting on his leg. “I really love you, too.” 

“That’s good,” Carlos says, and his voice is significantly quieter than it was moments ago. “‘Cause that would have been kind of embarrassing if I’d said that and you didn’t love me back.”

Carlos’s comment causes Seb to burst out laughing, which makes Carlos laugh a bit, too, except he’s mostly just lost in Seb’s joy. He was right when he said it—nobody holds a candle to Seb’s happiness. He knows it. 

“You really don’t see me like everyone else does, do you?” Seb finally asks, once he’s calmed down enough. 

Carlos shakes his head, and then hums softly, “I don’t think so, in the way you think, but nobody sees you the way you see yourself. Innocence isn’t a bad thing. Joy isn’t a bad thing. Childlike…wonder, it isn’t a bad thing to still have. You’re— _we’re_ still kids! Nobody thinks badly of you. Not even close.”

“I—thank you. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome, I—“

“Seb? Carlos?” Carlos is cut off by the loud voice coming from outside, followed by the door being opened with a group of people behind it. “The movie is over— _oh_ —“

Someone clears their throat. “Are we… _interrupting something_?” 

Seb looks from Carlos over to the rest of the group, standing directly in the doorway, then back to Carlos. Carlos is sputtering and flailing about how they definitely weren’t interrupting _anything_ of that nature, but Seb only smiles. He smiles. 

_He actually got that one_.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading this literal ooc as heck garbage ! my tumblr is andimackthemacktheseries :D


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